Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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