I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
babies were throwing up all over the place
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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