when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.