Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
In America we eat man semen.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.