I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"