Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...