At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck