Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.