Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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