My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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