bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again