I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize