piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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