I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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