Old men and throwing up are my life now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
