She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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