she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
