You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize