You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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