just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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