so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize