I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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