Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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