you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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