I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever