It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize