it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
