My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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