Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
