No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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