I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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