You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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