i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
