She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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