it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Buhtt sex?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
