Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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