Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize