why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
