Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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