I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize