Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
