he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
