FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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