Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
