i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes