Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...