he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
two words...techno handjob
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
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Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.