Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We left the knife in your bed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
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I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter