Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
are you so shy because you have an std?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
