kristin has been a bad kristin
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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