When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.