Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
even my farts smell like vagina
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola