last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"