is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
