Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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