When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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