shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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