What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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