He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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